The Listener Pictures of the Month - Cambria, California

Wooden Tudor-style birdhouse covered with thick succulents in a sunlit Cambria Pines Lodge garden.
Tudor-Style Birdhouse Reclaimed by Succulent Garden – The weight of seasons bowed the little cottage, but the plants cheered quietly among themselves — a kingdom without subjects, waiting for the wind.

There’s a window between breakfast and when Queen Anne finishes her transformation sequence. If I don’t use it, I’m trapped in a room full of mirrors, hair product, and decisions about whether navy is “too predictable.”

So I wandered outside—not far, just down the gravel path that winds behind the main building of the Cambria Pines Lodge. The lodge, if you’ve never been, looks like the kind of place where weddings happen at sunset and someone’s cousin eventually ends up in the koi pond. It’s quaint. Rustic. The walls creak in the wind. The wifi creaks all the time.

But the gardens — those are something else.

Most hotels put in landscaping as an afterthought. A few hedges, a lawn, maybe a dying lavender bush in a whiskey barrel. Not here. The gardens came first. Literally, in 1929, a nursery tycoon named Mr. Covell laid out the grounds not to accent a hotel — but to show off his rare plants. The lodge came later, almost as an apology. “Come see my lobelias,” he might’ve said, “and if you get tired, we have rooms.”

Covell was big on juxtaposition. Cactus next to roses. Pines next to palms. I suspect he was the kind of man who called eucalyptus a conversation piece. The grounds still host garden shows and landscaping workshops, and judging by the succulents, he may have been on speaking terms with his next-door neighbor, Randolph Hearst.

Tall, weathered birdhouse with a roof of succulents and trailing plants in a garden setting at Cambria Pines Lodge.
Forgotten Birdhouse: Nature’s New Tenant at Cambria Pines – Like a lighthouse for travelers who no longer came, the tall birdhouse stood wrapped in vines and dreams, waiting for the last sparrow to find it.

That’s Just the Cover Story

Tucked into one of the garden’s shady corners, I found a row of ornate birdhouses, each one weathered and half-swallowed by clusters of succulents. They leaned at odd angles, rooflines buried beneath rosettes of jade and lavender-toned sedum.

“What a clever idea for a planter,” I mumbled aloud.

“That’s just the cover story,” came a familiar gravelly voice — the kind that carried faint traces of the East River, like someone who once tried not to have an accent but never quite pulled it off.

I turned, expecting another guest or maybe a gardener. Instead, I was greeted by a raccoon. An aging one. Standing upright. One arm was draped casually across the arm of a wooden bench. The other? Holding what looked very much like a scale-model Havana cigar.

He gave me a long, squinty look that somehow sparkled while also suggesting he’d already solved three mysteries today. The black patches around his eyes looked like wire-rimmed glasses, and streaks of gray crept along his muzzle like sideburns that had given up.

He was leaning on one of those California garden benches with a name plaque bolted to the backrest. I didn’t look just then; it didn’t seem important at the time.

I blinked. Then, brilliantly: “You’re… a talking raccoon.”

He dragged on the cigar, exhaled nothing, and said,

“We talk all the time. Your kind just never listens.”

Still stunned, I tried to recover.

“Do you talk to all the hotel guests?”

He smirked.

“Mostly, we stay away. But you’re different. You’re weird. And your wife wears a plastic tiara to breakfast, so you’re probably somebody.” The name’s Rocky,” he said, puffing on the cigar that didn’t burn. “But around here my folk call me George… for some reason.”

I nodded like that explained something.

“Hi, I’m Jim. What do you mean the planters are a cover story? A cover story for what, exactly?”

George squinted at me with something between pity and amusement.

“For the truth,” he said. “And believe me—you don’t want to know how deep the mulch goes.”

“Try me,” I shot back.

George twirled his twig-sized cigar in the air like a conductor about to cue the string section.

“Don’t you notice anything missing?”

I glanced around, hoping something obvious would jump out. But the garden looked perfectly normal. Impossibly curated, even.

“No,” I said. “Things look… perfect.”

“That’s because you’re looking with your eyes and not your ears,” George said, already disappointed.

“Don’t you notice how strangely quiet it is?”

“Yeah. I like that.”

He sighed through his nose, as if I’d just missed the whole point of the universe.

“No, Curly — don’t you notice there’s no songbirds?

Weathered birdhouse with a roof of succulents and moss, blending into a garden at Cambria Pines Lodge.
Succulent Roof Birdhouse: Cambria’s Quiet Garden Relic – Once tended by human hands, the little birdhouse stood patient and proud, crowned by wild succulents, waiting for life to find it again.

When the Garden Was Loud

George adjusted his posture like he was settling in for a fireside story, minus the fire.

“Before the silence, we had sparrows. Bluebirds. Thrushes. Finches, even. We were lousy with melody back then. Whole mornings would pass in song battles. Territory disputes settled with harmony instead of feathers.”

“That house over there?” he said, pointing at the fanciest birdhouse in the shade. “Used to be the zoning office. Mostly disputes about nest overhangs and who was allowed to hang wind chimes. The wrens ran it — fair but strict.”

I blinked. “You’re saying… the birds had a council?”

“A council, a housing board, three choirs, and an amateur seed-throwing league,” George said flatly. “It wasn’t perfect. But it was alive.”George paused, reached up with his free paw, and pushed at the fur around his eye like he was adjusting a pair of nonexistent glasses — the kind he probably wore in a past life. The gesture landed like a punctuation mark.

“Then the humans stopped tending the feeders. The suet dried up. The fountains got slimy. The bluebirds were the first to leave. Then the thrushes. The rest followed.”

He paused.

“The pigeons?” I asked, curious.

George shook his head. “Pigeons are just sparrows with gambling problems. They moved to Pacoima. Haven’t been back since the peanut debt scandal.”

I didn’t know what to say to that, so I didn’t.

“That was the mayor’s house,” George said. “She ran three feeder disputes and one mating scandal out of there. “

‘Sup George

We were just starting to hit a rhythm — George waxing poetic about bird bureaucracy, me barely keeping up — when a voice drifted in from our right.

“‘ Sup, George.”

It came from a small coastal mule deer standing half in the shade of a low juniper. I say “standing,” but he was slouched. Hard to tell if he had antlers — his hoodie was pulled so low it covered his eyes, and the sleeves hung well past his knees.

“Hey, Daryll,” George replied, barely turning his head.

Then, leaning toward me, he added in a hushed voice,

“He thinks he’s a celeb ’cause one of his kin starred in a movie a long time ago. They still run it on PBS during pledge week. It’s too violent for me. They shoot the mother.”

“Why’s he dressed like a punk?” I asked. “He does know he can’t run with his pants that low, right?”

George didn’t answer. Just stared after him with the quiet sadness of someone who’s already tried. George shrugged.

“Had a vape habit. Rehabbed in Morro Bay. These days, he mostly plays Candy Crush on his phone and wanders the neighborhood with his pants halfway down his backside. Says it’s a ‘statement.’ I think it’s just bad elastic.”

Daryll didn’t say anything else. He just nodded toward us like he might return later, then vanished behind a hedge, earbuds in, and his tail barely twitching.

Old wooden barn-shaped birdhouse with broken boards, nestled among garden plants at Cambria Pines Lodge.
The Last Barn: Crumbling Birdhouse in Cambria Pines – Long after the songs had faded, the empty barn waited, its timbers whispering to the wind, keeping watch for travelers who never came.

The Scout and the Succulents

George’s voice dropped lower as we walked, like he didn’t want the garden itself to hear.

“It’s not about shelter,” he said. “We’ve got roofs. Shade. Free mulch. But they didn’t leave because of housing. They left because the world got… wrong.”

“Wrong how?”

“Thin, he said. “The sky tasted funny. You know how the air gets before a storm? It felt like that, but all the time. The bluebirds left first. Then the wrens. Even the finches packed it in.”

He paused near the second birdhouse — the tall, elegant one, its wooden walls still proud beneath a crown of trailing succulents.

“Funny you say that,” I offered. “I saw a bluebird this morning. Took a photo of it at the park across the highway.”

George stopped walking. Didn’t blink.

“You’re lucky,” he said slowly. “That was Indigo Jack.”

He stepped closer to the birdhouse, touching the platform’s edge like he remembered something private.

“That’s where Jack stops when he comes. He doesn’t stay long. Never sings. That’s how we know it’s him.”

Like that Potter kid, I didn’t want to interrupt while Gandalf talked. Not that George had a staff — just a twig that smelled like burnt mulch.

“Jack’s a scout,” George continued. “He flies ahead of the flock. Checks the air, the ground, the trees. Looks for signals. We don’t know what kind. Something in the dirt, maybe. A rhythm. A scent. A change in temperature. Nobody asks. He wouldn’t tell us anyway.”

He puffed on his cigar for effect, then glanced at me sideways.

“He used to be bright blue. Almost electric. These days, he’s gone a little gray.”

We passed the third birdhouse — the round, bushy one with a dense succulent crown, like a thatched roof overtaken by leafy tentacles.
George pointed at it.

“We think the succulents are listening.”

“Come on.”

He gave me that sideways look again, like I’d just insulted his mother’s potato salad.

“If you ever turn your back on one, they wiggle their stubby arms, doing that thing where they stick their fingers in their ears and blow raspberries.”

I blinked. “How do you know they move?”

“Because we have to send a cleaning crew out every morning to pick up the beer cans after their frat parties.”

Then he looked over his shoulder, lowering his voice:

“There was another scout once. Before Jack. Showed up unannounced. Landed on the gazebo rail like he owned the place.”

“What happened to him?”

“Didn’t stick the landing.”

Not a Song. Not Yet.

The next morning, the garden was still. Not dead — just… held in place. Like the whole place had paused to hear something faint.

I wandered the paths again, slower this time. George was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Daryll. Not even a hummingbird dive-bombed the feeders. Then I heard it — not a song, not even a chirp. Just the soft beat of wings cutting the air. I looked up.

At the far end of the garden, on the oldest birdhouse — a barn-shaped thing collapsing under its memories — a bird had landed. Smaller than Jack. Grayer. Still. She didn’t sing. She didn’t move.

“That’s not Jack,” I whispered.

George appeared beside me like he’d been there all along. He stared at the birdhouse for a long time before speaking.

“She’s one of the listeners,” he said. “They come first. If she sings, it’s too soon.”

He glanced at me, eyes squinting with that familiar gleam.

“If she comes back with company…”

He let the sentence hang.

“… that’s when you’ll know.”

Just then, the unmistakable clank of a garbage can lid echoed faintly through the trees — hollow and metallic, like someone had just uncovered a half-eaten burrito from last night’s wedding reception.

George didn’t flinch.

“Listen, kid,” he said, already turning away. “I’d love to spend the rest of the day talking with you, but that’s my lunch bell.”

He wandered down a rosemary-lined path, disappearing into the green, pausing momentarily to snap off a twig for seasoning.

I stayed in the garden a little longer. Walked the loops again. Let the silence settle. Then I returned to that bench — the one George had leaned on when we first met. The wood was cool. The seat creaked just slightly when I exhaled. I didn’t check my phone.

I didn’t try to understand any of it.

Eventually, I stood and set off to find Queen Anne and start the day’s drive. That’s when I noticed it — the plaque: tarnished brass, just two words.

Goodnight Gracie.

I left the garden changed. Not in a dramatic way — no epiphanies, no flash of purpose. Just a quiet feeling, like someone had handed me a secret I didn’t quite understand yet.

Queen Anne was waiting by the car, looking regal and impatient in her travel tiara, blissfully unaware of the diplomatic tension I’d just witnessed among the local fauna.

As I turned to go, something caught my ear — soft, tentative.

A chirp.

Not a song.

Not yet.

But close.

Thanks for listening with your eyes.
jw


BTW:

Last year, Wickenburg got a stand-alone butcher shop: Capitol Meats. It sells all-natural, hormone-free, grass-fed beef. It’s not cheap, but we saw a line out the door for their hamburgers last Saturday, so we got in.

The line moved fast: one woman on the register, four guys on the flattop. We split a $15 burger and waited. While I wandered the shelves, I had a full-on epiphany: nothing was packaged in plastic or aluminum. There was nothing to recycle—just honest food in glass and paper. I caved and bought two small jars of truffle-infused mayo. Who needs a pig anymore?

When the burger arrived and we took our first bite, we moaned in stereo. The forward flavor? Beef. Real beef. Everything else was backup singers.
If your favorite burger joint wins you over with secret sauce, you don’t know what you’re missing.

Highly recommended. Just… don’t crowd it up.

The Gutless Wonder Rides Again: Romance, Road Trips & Real Chardonnay Pictures of the Month: Cambria, California

Close-up of twisted trunks and exposed roots of Monterey Pines shaped by coastal winds at Moonstone Beach in Cambria, California
Rooted in Wind: Monterey Pines Shaped by the Coastal Breeze – A tangle of weathered trunks and roots from Monterey Pines near Moonstone Beach in Cambria, California. These coastal trees are shaped by years of persistent wind, creating a natural sculpture garden just steps from the Pacific.

When I first met Queen Anne all those years ago—shortly after she finished planting the redwoods—she worked for Eastern Airlines and wore a t-shirt that read, “Marry me and fly free!” I fell for it. And while the days of jetting around the world on pass-rider status are long gone, her forty-plus years in the travel industry still pay off now and then. She’s on a mailing list reserved for travel professionals, and every so often, it offers what they call a fam trip—a discounted stay meant to help agents get acquainted with resorts. One of our favorite hits each spring: the Cambria Pines Lodge, perched just above our favorite beach town on California’s Central Coast. The moment it shows up in her inbox, we’re packing the car.


Fuel Calculations and the Gutless Wonder

Since it’s a ten-hour drive to the coast, I like to get an early start. That way we can check in, pick up a bottle of local wine, and still make it to dinner without looking like we crawled out of a dust storm. Knowing Anne would grumble from bed to passenger seat, I set the alarm for 5:30. Once she’s strapped in with her seatbelt, I know she won’t wake up again until Barstow. So, under the cover of darkness, we pointed her Corolla west, dodging the Gordian Knot known as Los Angeles.

Although the Turd’s gas mileage isn’t bad for an SUV, we always take the Gutless Wonder for California runs. It’s lighter on fuel and easier on the wallet when you hit those dreaded Golden State pump prices. Typically, I top off the tank before crossing the Colorado, but this time I got cocky. I thought, “Maybe, just maybe, we can make it to Barstow on one tank.” We came up 60 miles short, muscling through headwinds fierce enough to stall a freight train.

That’s how we ended up at the Route 66 café in Ludlow, ordering a decent-enough breakfast while I choked down the $6-a-gallon Chevron fill-up.
We were five minutes early pulling into the lodge’s parking lot and checked into our little cottage for the next two nights. It’s a nicely decorated place with neither a heater nor air conditioning—because in Cambria, you rarely need either. Heat, if you want it, comes from a thermostat-controlled fireplace. Now that’s ambiance. If that flickering blue flame doesn’t scream romance, I don’t know what does.

Our package included a generous room discount, breakfast, and one dinner at the lodge’s restaurant—including a bottle of house wine. We always save that dinner for our second night, once the road buzz wears off and we feel more civilized.


Western Bluebird perched on a weathered wooden picnic table in a grassy park near Moonstone Beach, California
Picnic with a Bluebird: Unexpected Wildlife Along Moonstone Beach – A brilliantly colored Western Bluebird lands on a weathered picnic table in a Cambria park, offering a rare close-up of its vivid plumage in morning light.

Buffet by Name, Rubber by Nature

Over the years, we’ve developed a good working routine for these photo holidays. I get up before the crack of dawn, fumbling around in the dark trying not to wake her—don’t poke a snoring bear—and sneak out to shoot pictures. When I return, she’s up and almost ready to hold court. Then we’re off for breakfast and a bit of sightseeing.

In Romeo and Juliet, Shakespeare wrote:

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.”

If you read between the iambs, this is his way of telling Juliet, “Hey, you’re not a bad-looking chick—for a Montague.”

I think he was wrong, though. Some names carry powerful magic. Take the word buffet. No matter how classy the restaurant tries to be, the moment you slap breakfast in front of buffet, the spell kicks in: the eggs turn to rubber, the potatoes are somehow both overcooked and undercooked, the sausage loses all flavor, and the butter comes in those annoying foil wrappers that belong in a church basement potluck.

Personally, I’d rather skip it and hit a Denny’s.

“But they’re free,” Anne argues.

“They’re awful,” I counter.

“But they’re free.”

Why can’t someone offer an all-you-can-eat ahi tuna Benedict, savory crepes, or chicken and waffles? I’m convinced a dedicated S.E. Reykoff truck delivers these sad trays to every lodge, hotel, and conference center in the country. You could blindfold the cook, and it’d taste the same.


Early morning view looking south over Moonstone Beach in Cambria, California, with waves breaking gently on a rocky shoreline
First Light on Moonstone Beach: South Coast View at Daybreak – From a bluff overlooking Moonstone Beach, the view south captures the soft glow of early light on the Pacific—a tranquil stretch of sand, rock, and rolling surf.

Chardonnay, Terroir, and ChatGPT’s Finest Hour

Longtime readers know there’s a mandatory stop at a vineyard anytime we’re in California. But thanks to the skyrocketing prices—and the new ritual of reservation-only tastings—we’ve had to revise our modus operandi. Gone are the days of casual roadside discoveries. Now we pick one winery per trip, and we make it count.

This time, I wanted the best return on our investment. So I consulted my new favorite research tool, ChatGPT, which is basically Google with an opinion. I asked it to recommend a vineyard known for its Chardonnays. It—she? he? whatever—suggested a spot way out in Edna Valley called Chamisal Vineyards. It’s a small, private operation tucked so deep into the hills it feels like you need a secret handshake to find the gate.

The estate sits on a weird-shaped plot carved into the ancient talus slopes of the nearby mountains. It’s where geology, botany, and Julia Child all come together. They analyzed their soils and systematically planted each grape varietal to match the dirt. That little ol’ winemaker (kids, ask your grandmother) is probably rolling in his grave with envy.

The tasting bar was handled by two charming young women who knew their wines, poured generously, and smiled like they’d just heard your best joke—even if you hadn’t said anything funny yet.

They poured two Chardonnays for us. First up was their 2023 Estate Bottled, young and vibrant enough to sell me on the first sip—clean, balanced, and already showing promise. But then came the 2021 Califa, and that’s when things got serious. Slightly darker in color with a high, elegant note of lemon reminded me of the wines from the Montrachet region in Bordeaux. That same scar-on-the-memory intensity, born from the soil rather than the barrel.

Those Chardonnays didn’t just speak—they sang. Full-bodied, mineral-kissed, and tuned to that elusive oaky/buttery harmony we’ve been hunting for years. The Califa didn’t just show up—it owned the room like a wine snob with Bourdain’s swagger. We signed up for the wine club on the spot. That’s a commitment—and a compliment.


Great blue heron walking through a grassy park near Moonstone Beach in Cambria, California, lit by soft morning sun
The Park Stalker: A Great Blue Heron Strikes a Pose in Cambria – A great blue heron strolls through a grassy park in Cambria, California, pausing with an almost cinematic stillness—as though waiting for the camera to click.

Scallops, Soap Operas, and Foggy Submarine Surveillance

After our tasting, we raced back to Cambria through the weekday maze for a much-needed nap before dinner. That meal? Another small win. Anne went with the prime rib special—along with every other silver-haired guest in the room—while I rolled the dice on scallops. And they nailed it—the chef’s back in my good graces, at least until breakfast.

With the evening still young, we skipped our usual The Big Bang Theory reruns and drove up the coast to San Simeon. I had big plans—long exposures and dramatic shots of the lighthouse beam slicing through the night.
Instead, I discovered three things:

1. You need more than ambition to pull off night photography.
2. It helps if your tripod isn’t locked in the garage.
3. Sometimes, the best view is the one you don’t try to capture.

So we stayed in the car and watched as the last light faded below the horizon. The windows fogged up a little—not from the ocean air, but from… let’s say, warm conversation. Maybe we saw a whale. Maybe a periscope. Perhaps nothing at all.

But it felt like everything.


Danish Waffles, Rainy Goodbyes, and Strategic Sugar Spikes

The following day, we woke to rain. Cambria seemed just as sad as we were to see us go. After another breakfast from Groundhog Day, we packed up and hit the road.

Rather than endure another ten-hour drive home, we decided to make the return trip a two-day trip. We had one more critical stop to make.
In California, two bakeries qualify as mandatory detours anytime we’re within 200 miles. I wrote about the first—Schat’s in Bishop—last year, and its unforgettable Sheepherder’s Bread. The second is Birkholm’s in Solvang, three hours down the coast. They make a pastry straight from the Devil himself: raspberry and cream layered between two sweet, crispy filo crust slabs. I’ve always called them Danish Waffles, but they were labeled French Waffles in the display case. Whatever the nationality, they’re addictive and dangerous. If you eat one in the car, you’ll vacuum up the evidence for weeks.

Being the seasoned pros that we are, we stayed civilized. We sat down, each had one with coffee, and then bought a variety of goodies to test how much would actually make it back to Congress. (Spoiler: not much.) With my blood sugar in orbit, we piled into the car and set out to find a motel before tackling the long, lonely stretch across the Mojave.


Come for the Photos, Stay for the Pastry Talk

Thanks for joining us on this month’s road trip. We hope you had as much fun reading it as we did living it—minus the rubber eggs and $6 gas, of course.

If you’d like to see larger versions of the photos (without crumbs on them), head over to the website: 👉 www.jimwitkowski.com

Do you have thoughts, questions, or a favorite California bakery we haven’t visited yet? We’d love to hear from you. Drop us a comment below—make it quick. The window closes after five days (we must keep the trolls in their caves).

Next month, the Cambria Pines Lodge story gets weird. Let’s say it involves a mushroom garden, a misplaced key, and Queen Anne channeling Agatha Christie.

Keep your humor dry, your spirits high, and your pastries hidden from the Queen.
jw